Yesterday, I came to work, gathered my materials, and set forth to take part in my shift meeting. One of the topics that came up during the day’s meeting was pronunciation of certain celebrity names, as we as a company don’t wish to make complete asses of ourselves because a determined
to ruin everything group can’t seem to do their jobs and say names correctly.
Our supervisor comes around to one name that I know no one can screw up. Cher. She of the Cher Hair. She of the overdone impression. Every drag queen has a Cher impersonation hiding in the wood work, just hoping to have a chance to jump out and shine. The woman is a freaking Idol.
I mean, yes, she has had more work done than a restored 67 Impala off the Supernatural set, but she’s amazing to this day! Her performances of Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves still make me cry. Mermaids offers an incredibly touching view of the difficulties of an emotionally remote woman to relate to the world around her, including her children. Burlesque, while being the type of movie that usually would be nails to my chalkboard, was actually palatable because it was Cher! And Stanley Tucci, but Cher!
Anyhoo, the reason I point all of this out is that my supervisor felt the need to explain to the mostly 50-pluses I work with and myself that Cher’s name was pronounced “share.” Which, in addition to just being wrongwrongwrong, confused the hell out of me.
“____,” I asked. “Why are you explaining Cher’s name. It’s Cher.”
“I’ve never heard of her, really,” ____ explained.
“But…Cher!?!” I responded, bewildered, perplexed. How does this person of thirty some-odd years not know Cher?
The answer? ____ had seen Mask, but apparently has missed the concerts, music videos, reruns of the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, the new reality program starring Chaz (Sonny and Cher’s son), the guest spots, and the recent movie starring the Great One with Stanley Tucci and Christina Aguilera. What. The. Fuck. Adoodle. Seriously?
The entire thing confused me so greatly I started listing off Cher accomplishments until the glare I received from ____quelled me silly. Then, three of the older gentlemen (should I mention they are straight, I feel like it is important to mention these were straight men) began questioning ____ apparently lack of Cher education.
We got so far off topic that I didn’t even point out that ____ was telling us to pronounce her name incorrectly. (Not that any of us needed the instruction, because we actually knew who she was.)
This all comes down to me begging of you. If you don’t know who Cher is, and you are over ten, please, educated yourself. No one else can do it for you. I’m begging you. If not for yourself, think of the children! Is a world without Cher really one you want to live in?